“When someone does something nice for you, you
never ever forget it” ~ me
I suppose it is a play off the quote “People will
forget the things you say, but not how you made them feel” by someone much more
famous than I (forgive me, I don’t know offhand who that person is).
I have very distinct memories of all sorts of
really great things people have done for me over the years (I distinctly
remember the bad too, but try not to focus on those), and I still feel the love
I felt at that moment when I think back on those really great things. I
remember the Christmas tree my mom’s coworker gave us years ago because we would
not have had one otherwise. I remember the people who were there when I needed
support after the loss of a friend, the illness of a family member, the struggle
to understand why life happens the way does. I remember the car rides when I was
stranded along the side of the road, the unexpected gift of chips and salsa after
running a marathon, those who helped me scrape paint, then repaint and replace windows, and roof my house as a young homeowner. I remember the people who
stayed with me when I was scared- their presence a huge gift to me. I remember
those who paid for a meal when I was down to my last $5, and helped after my
daughter was born, cooked for me, let me nap, gave advice. The letters and cards
that come at just the right time in the mail, provide encouragement, “a hug in
an envelope”, so to speak. I remember those moments and savor those moments;
they’re gifts- those memories. When I think of those people who gave those
gifts, the really great things they’ve done often define them- a moment of
generosity that gives a glimpse to who they are.
Giving is a very personal thing and when we
decide to give, we cannot judge. We give because we want to give and we hope we
are making a positive difference in someone else’s life. My hope is that the
gesture we make or the assistance we provide gives the recipient the help they
need and it is appreciated, and that someday they will pay it forward, but that
is not always the case. And that has nothing to do with it. When you decide to
give, you give because you want to. What happens after that is not up to the
giver.
I stopped to pick up a list for our local Adopt A
Family Program and left in tears. This was intended to be a rather quick errand:
run in, get list, run out. And I am still trying to grasp what exactly happened
in there except I was overcome with so much emotion. It wasn’t the
nondescript office building where the temporary office is housed, nor did I come
in contact with any other people than the two volunteers that were there. It
just got me thinking…about those people that have helped me over the years. And
about the people I have been able to help. And then I couldn’t stop crying…a
mixture of happiness for those who have helped me when I needed it the most, and
a happiness for being at a place in my life where I can give back, yet an
overwhelming sense of sadness for those who need, not just this time of year,
but always. And realizing that although people tend to be generous around the
holidays, there are individuals and families that struggle all the time. A
humbling emotion for the fact that we are all just one catastrophe away from
struggling ourselves, be it a lost job, a terrible accident, natural disaster, a
health concern, or any number of things that can turn our lives upside down in a
minute. A hurtful emotion of those who judge others. I’ve felt the brunt of
judgement my whole life and because of that, I try really hard not to judge
others. We can all have opinions, but to make judgements based on our opinions
is just plain wrong.
I am just one person of many, trying to make the
world a better place because I can. Because people have done that for me when
I’ve struggled. And I will never forget that. I am willing to give my time to
help others. I am willing to forgo that meal out to instead pay for someone
else’s. I make a conscious choice to limit the number of gifts we buy for our
daughter at Christmas to instead buy for those who would otherwise have no gifts
at all. It is important to me to raise a daughter who values the needs of
others, appreciates what she has and who realizes how lucky she is to have a
loving family, a warm home, food and clothing. As parents we want to give our
kids everything we can, but I think it is important to put perspective into
their world as well. Because I struggled as much as I did as a young college
student and homeowner, I have the perspective I do. And I wouldn’t change that
for anything.
~Angela
