Differences

I was out running errands the other day with my little girl and we were racing through Menards “superfast” (which as of late, is a brisk walk at best. My running days are over until after this baby is born) and I hear my little girls say “Stop, Mama.” We never stop when I am pushing her cart superfast; if anything, she encourages me to go faster. So I stopped. “Mom, look, that man only has one leg. Why does he only have one leg?” Indeed, there was a gentleman on crutches with only one leg.
I often think how I will answer these opportunities-to-learn questions my daughter poses to me ahead of time, because when put on the spot, I know the words out of my mouth are important. They are setting a standard for how she will treat people. These innocent questions from my three year old deserve an honest answer and I know she doesn’t forget anything. I think back to the questions/observations that have been thrown at me, just a sampling so far, although I anticipate more like this in the curiosity that is childhood, at which currently we are on the brink of: “Mom, look, that man’s chair is fast! I want one of those” referring to a person in a wheelchair. “Why does that girl laugh funny?” “Her skin in black.”
So how do I answer this question of the man with one leg? I replied to her “Everyone is different.” And her reply “Like my birthmark? My friends don’t have a birthmark. I’m different.” With tears in my eyes, I thought to myself exactly and went on and said as much to her. Thinking to myself, She is getting it. She may be young, but my little girl understands some concepts and this is one. A big one. “It’s ok to be different, right mom?” she asks me. Oh boy. I guess we did not quite hit the nail on the head with this one.
I went on to explain that it is absolutely ok to be different. Some people are taller than others (my little girl: “like Daddy? He is big as the sky!”), some people are shorter. Some people have dark skin and others have light skin. Some people have freckles and birthmarks and long hair and short hair. Some people have one leg and others have two legs. But we treat everyone the same.
She listened intently and I hope she understands. As important as this discussion was (spawned by a simple honest question), I know my little girl learns by example just as much. I strive to treat everyone the same always, but this reminder was a good one for me as well.
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