Am I a Bad Mom if I Forgot to Brush My Daughter's Teeth Today?

I always made a point to celebrate Mother's Day by honoring my mom and in recent years, my mother-in-law too. But now that I am a mom, I appreciate the holiday a bit more; I appreciate my mom more. I appreciate the memories my mom created for me, I appreciate the advice, I appreciate the sacrifices she made for me. And I understand more. I understand more than ever what tired exhausted feels like. I understand how your heart literally stops beating when you hear the screams of agony when your child is in pain. I understand the exhilaration when your child smiles for the first time, calls your name, takes her first steps and says "I Love You." Motherhood has been the most challenging, rewarding and life-changing experience ever.

My Mom & I

There are days where I think to myself I got this mom thing down. These are usually the days that my daughter wakes up singing and says "Good Morning Mama" when I walk into her room, greeting me with the sleepy smile of a good night's sleep. We rock and cuddle before we get ready for the day and we leave the house on time, her in an adorable, matching outfit. We play and laugh and have lots of hugs. I am lucky that we have a lot of these days. And on these days I think I could handle 10 more kids.

There are also days where I want to cry because I don't think I am a good enough mom. These are the days that my daugther insists on wearing pajamas all day and when I finally convince her to wear clothes, I don't argue when those clothes don't match or are on backwards. I am usually tired, and I doubt every thing I do. Am I patient enough? Am I making life fun enough? Am I instilling in my little girl the things that matter most: good manners, faith, the importance of family? Am I teaching her all she needs to know? Am I providing nutritious meals? And although I have jokingly said many times that they let anyone be parents, more than once I have felt like the wrong person for the job.

Today was a day I wavered when I reflected on my success as a mom. My plan for today was to sleep in. I have been looking forward to this for weeks. With my husband at work and my daughter up earlier than usual, I quickly realized my plan would not happen. But I did not see my little girl at all yesterday (which I also feel terribly guilty about as I missed a major milestone: her first running race) so I welcomed an early morning cuddle in place of the extra sleep I so desperately wanted/needed. I went in to cuddle and she had other plans. Books and balloons and activites that required energy. Energy I did not have. And as I raced around in record time to get my little girl and I ready for church (per her request), we arrived at church and sang and worshipped and prayed together and I felt better. Until in the middle of the service I realized in the crazybusy morning and my fog of tiredness that I never brushed my daughter's teeth. Now this is terrible in so many ways, but even more so because in this home, we ALWAYS brush our teeth. Dental hygiene is something we take very seriously. And I cannot even bring myself to admit this to my husband. (he'll find out when he reads my blog). How can I have been so rushed that I forgot that? I certainly never forget to brush my own teeth! In marches in the guilt...

We spent the afternoon with cousins, who brought me flowers in honor of Mother's Day. This was such a sweet gesture and although I graciously accepted them, I can't help but think that I deserve them less than she does. This woman is raising her son and another little boy that needs a Mama. She may not have given birth to him, but she loves him and cares for him and has sacrificed her own family, her own life, to raise this little boy. She is his Mama too. She deserves these flowers. She deserves more than these flowers. I admire her. I have so much respect for her. Again, I feel guilty- here she is, raising two children, one not her own, and I didn't even remember to brush my daughter's teeth this morning.

cousins!

I opened Mother's Day gifts from my husband and little girl- charms for a bracelet, a handwritten letter from my husband and my favorite card ever. I don't feel deserving of these either.

This card was made for me. It reads "The Best Things In Life Aren't Things"

We enjoyed dinner outside together at a local restaurant. There was a family at a table next to us with little girls. The kids were glancing back and forth and smiling and talking to each other as little girls do. It was sweet. Parents also started chatting and exchanging Mother's Day greetings. As the older of the two little girls went to leave, she stopped at our table with her Daddy and said to me "You look like a nice Mommy and I wanted to give you this." She handed me a decorated jar with handmade lotion inside that she made with her grandma. I fought back tears because: 1) I was very touched 2) It gave me hope that this family (well, everyone really, but most especially my little girl) could see that I try really hard to be a good Mama. Mind you, I don't know this little girl, but that gift she gave me was exactly what I needed today.

Underneath my insecurities, my worries and my struggles, there is one thing that has never wavered and that is the love I have for my little girl. I understand love more now that I am a mom than I ever have and I can only hope that my excess of love makes up for the areas that I may be lacking.

My little girl, who I love SO much

To all Moms and women that love and care for children, whether you have given birth to them or not, Happy Mother's Day!

~Angela